Suicide Blonde
by plastiscines
Summary: Frustrated with Scooter because he won't ask her out, Julie enlists Charlie's help. By asking him to pretend to be her boyfriend. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
1. prologue

**AN:** I got a sudden burst of inspiration and, wanting to write a Charlie/Julie, I had to write this. Title aside, there probably won't be a lot of angst (unlike _COA_), and I have no storyline for it (again, unlike _COA_), but hey, those are the best kind of fics, right? I'll update _Center Of Attention_ later this week! Enjoy.

* * *

**Suicide Blonde**  
_prologue_

* * *

Connie Moreau watched as her best friend stabbed her cinnamon roll with a fork, aggravated. She smiled, a bit unsure, "Jules, I think you killed it by now."

Julie Gaffney looked at her, confused. "What?" Connie gestured towards her breakfast, to which Julie blinked. "Oh, right."

Connie sighed, "What's bothering you?"

"Scooter," Julie answered after a few seconds, unable to keep a secret from her teammate. "He clearly expressed a liking to me last year. You noticed, right?"

Connie nodded, and she looked towards the Varsity table where Scooter sat, talking to a teammate of his. Julie followed her line of sight and huffed, "Well, he's not even looked at me since we started the year."

"Oh, you want him to ask you out!" Connie nearly squealed. Julie held up her hands to shush her, though couldn't help but blush. "Yes, but I don't think he will."

"Do what I did," Connie suggested with a shrug, "I flirted with Luis until Guy punched him and asked me to be his girlfriend. Again."

"Great," Julie couldn't help but roll her eyes, "Think Mindy will let me borrow Luis?"

The two both turned their heads towards the cheerleader table, where Luis and Mindy were having world's longest make-out session. Julie grimaced at the sight; was she trying to eat his face?

"Probably not," Connie laughed, taking a hold of her empty tray as she stood up from her seat. At that moment, a shoulder knocked into Julie as someone sat down in the seat beside her.

"Probably not what?" Charlie Conway asked, curiously. He picked up the spoon Julie hadn't used and began to eat his cereal.

"Mindy probably won't share Luis with Julie," Connie answered, as Julie shot her a look. "Anyway, I have to go. It's time to break up with Guy."

"What?" Charlie asked, as Julie frowned, "Why?"

"He forgot our anniversary. Bye!" And with that, Connie was off.

"Poor Guy," Charlie commented, though he didn't look all that sorry. He knew Connie and Guy would make up by the end of the week. He turned towards Julie, "What's this about sharing Luis?"

"Nothing, she was kidding." Julie stole her spoon back from him, then took a hold of his bowl with cereal and took a bite from it. Charlie glared at her good-humouredly as she chewed, and then took his bowl and spoon back.

And suddenly, the best idea struck her.

"Charlie," she started, slowly. He looked at her just as he took another bite. "Do me a favor?"

He nodded. She smiled.

"Be my boyfriend," she said, as though asking him this was an everyday occurrence.

Charlie spat out cereal out in surprise, before he stared at her with wide eyes. Some of the milk ran down his chin, much to Julie's disgust.

_Should have asked Adam_, she thought. Except Adam was too much of a nice guy, he'd never agree.

"Look, I like Scooter," she told him, using a napkin to clean his face off. Charlie, annoyed she was treating him like a little kid, rolled his eyes and batted her hands away. "But he's too much of a chicken to ask me out."

"Then ask him out," Charlie told her, turning back to his breakfast.

"No," she shook her head, stubbornly. "_He _needs to ask _me_ out."

"Does that even make sense to you?" He asked in a Goldberg-kind of way. Julie glared at him, but he ignored her and took another bite from his cereal. Yes, it made sense to her. Though she was in no way old-fashioned, it'd just be nice if he asked her, rather than her asking him. More special, she reckoned. Besides, it had worked for Connie.

"I figure, if I can make him jealous, he'll gather up enough courage to ask me." Julie smiled as she imagined Scooter's face when he saw her with Captain Duck. He'd be so jealous; he'd shove Charlie to the side and whisk her off of her feet. As Julie sighed dreamily, Charlie stared at her as though she was nuts. Girls could damn weird sometimes, especially when it was about a boy. Like Connie, who kept breaking up with Guy for absolutely no reason. Or, in Charlie's mind, she had no reason.

He waved a hand in front of her face, "Jules? Hello?"

Julie snapped out of it. "Sorry," she apologized, "Will you do it? Come on, Charlie! It's just pretend."

"Why should I?" Charlie had no need for a girlfriend.

"Because," Julie tried to think of a reason as she looked around. And then, as though it was fate, she saw Linda. An idea occurred to her, "Because you'll be able to get back at Linda for dumping you."

"She didn't dump me!" Charlie hissed, not wanting to draw attention to himself. "It just didn't work out." Or, rather, she'd dumped him. Julie knew this, because she'd been the one he'd ranted at.

"Whatever," Julie didn't really care. "Just think about, okay?"

"I don't need to think about it," Charlie told her bluntly as she stood up from her seat. Julie needed to get over whatever fear she had and just ask Scooter out, he thought. He looked past Julie and suddenly caught sight of Linda. Anger and something else entirely rose inside of him as he watched her laugh with some guy he had never seen before in his life.

"Wait," Charlie caught Julie by her wrist, and she whirled around to face him. Charlie didn't look at her, still glaring at his ex-girlfriend. "Fine, what would I have to do?"

Julie smiled. _And my day just got better_.


	2. like a cheap distraction

AN: Here's chapter two!

To **hannah**, yousuckbai.  
To **galindapopula**r, thank you! Here's an update!  
To **brnnttebabe12**, thank you! Here's another chapter!  
To **8JbFbAbM9, **fancy seeing you here! Haha. I agree, it's going to be fun watching their relationship develop. Charlie has no idea what he's getting into.. but does Julie? Thanks for the review!  
To **sableye**, thank you! Charlie and Julie are in for one heck of a ride. Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

**Suicide Blonde**  
1. _like a cheap distraction_

* * *

"Hey, have you seen my bag?" Adam Banks asked his captain when he entered the dorm they shared that year, "I need it for practice."

Charlie shook his head no, to which Adam groaned. He'd been searching for it about half an hour now. Classes had ended a while ago, and they had practice in a few minutes. _Where the hell could it be? _He was sure he'd brought it with him. Of course he had, his hockey gear was in it!

Charlie, who hadn't been able to talk to his best friend all day, wondered whether he should tell him the 'good news'. Though Julie had said he shouldn't tell the Ducks the truth unless he had to (because knowing Connie, she'd blab it to the whole school and Scooter would find out), Charlie was positive he could tell Banksie. He wondered what his reaction would be. He cleared his throat once and then breathed in, expecting the worst. "So, I'm dating Jules."

Adam, still looking for his duffel bag, nodded, "That's great."

Charlie raised an eyebrow, but when his friend didn't look up at him, he repeated, "_Julie_."

"I heard you the first time." Adam told him plainly.

"Julie _Gaffney_."

Adam, reaching under the bed where he'd finally found his bag, which had probably been kicked under there by Charlie when they'd moved in, looked at him, exasperated. "I know, Charlie--"

Charlie continued, "Julie '_The Cat_' Gaffney."

"Charlie--" Adam tried, but Charlie threw his hands up wildly.

"_Cat-lady_!"

"Conway, shut the hell up!" Charlie immediately shut up, lowering his arms slowly. Adam shot him a look and then said, calmly, "I get it. You're dating Julie. I think it's great. She'll be good for you."

Adam patted him on the back and then headed out, "Come on, we've got practice." And he was gone.

Charlie stared at the spot Adam had stood, bewildered. He hadn't even been able to tell him the truth! He sighed, took his own bag out of the corner and muttered as he followed his friend.

"Unbelievable."

* * *

"I told Banksie we were dating," Charlie grumbled to his 'girlfriend' as they all hit the ice. Julie turned towards him, raised eyebrow. "What did he say?"

"Said it was great," Charlie was still sure Adam hadn't hear him clearly. "You'll be good for me."

To Charlie's chagrin, Julie smiled, looking incredibly pleased with herself. "I told Connie, too." She then informed him, to which Charlie looked genuinely interested, "What'd she say?"

His answer was a loud _**bang**__._ Charlie winced, knowing he'd leave practice with an enormous headache, when Connie whacked his helmet with her hockey stick again. "You!" Connie glared at him, "You better treat my best friend right. I don't care how long I've known you, Conway." She hit his helmet again, and Charlie wondered why the rest of his team was just staring at them. Didn't they realize he was being attacked by a mad-woman?

"Damn it, Connie, stop!" Charlie hollered as his childhood friend continued to hit him.

"I also told her we're just pretending," Julie suddenly intervened. Charlie gaped at her and then quickly looked at the girl he'd known since he was just a kid. Connie smiled innocently, "What? I had to, or the others would suspect something."

"No, they wouldn't!" Charlie scowled at her, and then turned to Julie, "What happened to 'keep it a secret, Charlie, we don't want the entire school to know'?"

Julie shrugged, "I couldn't keep it from Connie." Connie beamed at her.

"Fine! Then I'm telling Banksie--" Charlie, who'd been about to skate towards Adam, was hauled back by the two girls. "You can't." Julie told him, shaking her head, "Adam knows Scooter best."

"Yeah," Connie agreed, "And you never know what Adam might do. He's mysterious like that." At once, the two girls turned to stare at the enigma that was Adam Banks, who was talking to Guy.

"What?" Charlie, following their gaze, wondered whether they'd fallen out of bed this morning and hit their heads. "No, he's not." he told them, incredulous.

A whistle blew. Everyone turned to see Coach Orion skate onto the ice, telling them practice had begun. "Look, we're not telling anyone, okay?" Julie asked, to which Charlie rolled his eyes, "Fine."

"And you better buy her something nice for her birthday next week!" Connie suddenly shouted and, with a final whack of her stick on his helmet, tossed her hair behind her and skated towards where the team stood.

"You owe me," Charlie murmured to Julie with a glare. Julie smiled at him in return, apologetically. He could clearly see the glint of amusement in her eyes, though.

"Conway! Gaffney!" Orion shouted, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "If you're quite done staring into each other's eyes, could you join us?"

As Charlie heard his team laugh, he sighed.

_So not worth it._

_

* * *

_

"Charlie!"

Charlie removed his helmet as he caught the water bottle Guy threw at him, drinking some of the water as he skated towards Julie who'd called him. She was still standing near the goal. Charlie skidded to a stop, "What's up?"

"He's here," Julie told him, excited. Charlie followed her gaze and saw she was right: Scott, Riley, Cole and a few other Varsity players were sitting in the stands. He scowled, "What are they doing here?" _Probably there to spy on us_, he thought.

"I don't know. But, we need to show Scooter that we're together." Julie looked at him, pointedly. Charlie cocked an eyebrow, not sure whether he liked this look. "And how you suggest we do that?"

"I don't know," Julie looked thoughtful, before an idea struck her. "Hold my hand! All couples do."

Charlie stared at her hand before he cleared his throat, "You're wearing gloves."

"Oh, right." Charlie couldn't help but grin as she struggled to get the glove off, eager to make Scooter notice her. He looked towards the stands, noticing Scooter was in fact watching them intently. He looked back at Julie, still fighting her gloves. _Screw it_, Charlie decided. Holding her hand wouldn't be enough.

"Come here, Cat-lady." As Julie looked up at him, Charlie took her helmet off. Without hesitation, he then leaned in and kissed her. Julie, surprised, let go of her glove, and it hit the ice with a _thud_. Charlie pulled back before she could respond, watching her face to gauge her reaction. A five second kiss (not that Charlie had counted, of course not) was more than enough to show Scott Vanderbilt someone was moving in on the girl he liked, Charlie was sure of it.

Julie's smile was bright as she suddenly realized the same thing. And then, she scrunched her nose in distaste. "Next time," Julie started, using the back of her hand to wipe below her lips, "A little less sweat."

"Next time," Charlie began, rolling his eyes, "Scooter can do it." He handed back her helmet and skated towards the benches, taking another sip from the water bottle as he went.

Julie looked past her 'boyfriend' to see whether her crush had seen: by the stunned look on Scooter's face, she guessed he had. Score: 1-0 for Julie. Or, well, Charlie. It'd been his idea. She really had to thank him for it.

As Orion told them to get back to practice, Connie skated up towards Julie with the largest smile. "And?" She asked, to which Julie tilted her head to the side, confused. Connie continued, "Is he a good kisser? I bet he is."

"I don't know." Julie felt her cheeks heat up, "I was thinking about Scooter." That was only half a lie: she really didn't know, but not because she'd been thinking about Scooter. She'd been too surprised to react, hell; she'd been too surprised to _think_. When she'd finally realized Charlie had been kissing her, he'd already pulled back.

"Sure," Connie didn't look too convinced. Rather, she looked like she was having the time of her life. "By the way, you're blushing."

Julie rolled her eyes and shooed her best friend away. Practice was almost over, and they were about to do penalties. She managed to stop Fulton's slap shot and Russ' knuckle puck, much to their annoyance. Next was Adam, who looked as earnest as could be as he approached her with the puck. _Then again_, Julie thought, _he always did_. She waited as he took his shot. When the moment was right, she reached out with her glove. The puck rebounded back onto the ice. Adam smiled, unlike those before him, obviously not bitter. Fulton and Russ could learn a lot from him, Julie decided.

Last was Charlie, who Julie knew was going to use his infamous triple deke. Well, she was ready for it. As he came closer and closer to the goal, Julie's eyes were on the puck. At the last moment, she looked up to see the concentration on his face. She smiled; if there was one thing she knew he was serious about, it was hockey. As though realizing she was watching him, Charlie took his eyes off the puck and looked back at her. His gaze locked with hers.

Charlie winked.

Julie faltered.

Charlie slammed his stick against the puck and, before Julie could even think to move, it sailed right in.

As he skated off, laughing jovially, Julie stared at the puck that lay still against the net.

_What the hell just happened?_


	3. for a new affair

AN: Here's chapter two!

To **hannah**, I wish I could write the script for D4. It would have so much Charlie/Julie and Charlie/Adam it wouldn't even be funny anymore.  
To **galindapopula**r, thank you! Here's an update!  
To **brnnttebabe12**, thank you! Yeah, Julie might be the smart Duck, but Connie's got her own set of brains! She can definitely see something's up.  
To **sableye**, thank you! Hope you enjoy the next chapter!  
To **sammylover**, here's an update!  
To **Mami**, thank you! I really hope I can convert you. Charlie/Julie is a great 'ship.  
To **LuvRGrl63**, thanks! I definitely agree, I'd love to see more Charlie/Julie. It's just too bad this fandom is kind of dead.

* * *

**Suicide Blonde**  
2._ for a new affair_

_

* * *

_

"Looks like Conway stole your girlfriend, Scotty."

Scott Vanderbilt rolled his eyes at the taunt as he sat down at the Varsity table. "Shut up, Riley," he told his old friend and teammate, "I'm not in the mood."

"Poor Scotty," Cole laughed dumbly. "Everyone prefers him over you, huh?"

All of Varsity knew what the big burly loon was talking about; when Adam told them he quit, Scooter had been the only one who'd tried to get him to stay. Not only had the boy become one of his friends, but they needed someone with his talent. Adam's decision had come in the form of Charlie Conway. _"C'mon, preppy."_ Conway had beckoned him like some lost puppy, and Banks had turned back to Scooter with a look that had said it all: _no._ At first, Scott couldn't blame him. Varsity had been a real dick to Banks, treated him even worse than the Ducks had. But now, he felt like it was all Captain Duck's fault. What made him so special everyone wanted to be on his damn team?

Why hadn't he asked out Julie sooner?

He glared at his breakfast as he heard his team laugh as they bullied yet another unsuspected kid. He looked up just in time to see Julie stride over towards the Ducks table. Towards Conway. His glare hardened before he noticed a girl looking straight at him. As soon as she noticed she'd finally caught his eye, she nodded into the direction of the exit, indicating she wanted to talk to him elsewhere. He frowned, thinking the girl looked oddly familiar before he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Riley sneered.

"I'll be back soon," was all he replied.

* * *

Charlie let out a yelp as someone took a hold of his hair and pulled his head sideways. He watched how Julie sat down next to him and forced him even closer to her. Some wisps of her hair tickled across his nose and he was oddly aware of she smelled like some kind of coconut-y shampoo. He winced, "Jules, it took me fifteen years to grow this hair," he joked, in an attempt to humor her. "I'd rather not go bald yet."

"It didn't work," Julie hissed, but she did ease her grip. "He hasn't even said hi to me today."

"It's eight am, Jules. Besides, what do you want me to do about it?" Charlie really wanted her to let go now. However, he couldn't help but grin, "I could kiss you again."

At once, Julie let go as if he'd burned her and shot him a glare. Charlie wasn't sure whether to take that as an insult or not. Either way, he was glad she was done trying to rip his hair out. "Look, Cat, I'm sorry but," he wasn't sure how to put it, but continued, bluntly, "have you ever considered he doesn't like you?"

Julie's nostrils flared. Charlie looked for a way out.

He found one in the form of Adam Banks. "Banksie!" he laughed nervously as his best friend sat opposite them, breakfast tray still in hand. Charlie seized the opportunity to get away from the pissed off goalie beside him and sprang from his seat, taking a hold of Adam's arm and starting to drag him away. "Let's go to class!"

"But," Adam almost fell over as he was pulled from his seat, "Class isn't until eighty thirty."

"I like to be there early." Charlie was well aware of how ridiculous that sounded.

"What?" Banks had no idea what the hell was happening. "I haven't even had breakfast yet!"

"Breakfast can wait. Your studies are important. Hey, Con."

Connie tilted her head to the side as she watched her captain shove Adam out of the cafeteria, not sure what to make of it. Adam turned to her and mouthed '_help me'_, but before she could ask why, they were gone. _Oh well_, she decided not to worry, _boys will be boys_. With that, she continued on her way to the Ducks table, taking a seat opposite her best friend. As soon as she saw Julie's face, she fought the urge to get up and hurry after Charlie.

"He doesn't like me, Con," Julie whined as she buried her head in her arms.

"Who?" Connie was out of the loop. She was also wondering who left an uneaten tray of food.

"Scooter!" Julie's reply was muffled by her arms.

"I'm sure he does, honey," Connie tried to soothe her, before her eyes widened. Julie continued, not seeing her expression, "No, he doesn't. I mean, why would he? I'm just plain ol' Julie and he's Varsity's goaltender. I told him I hated ties, they're like kissing your brother. He has no reason to like me. I mean,-"

"Uh, Jules?" Connie tapped her friend's arm a little too hard.

Julie raised her head, her hair a complete mess as she frowned, "_What_?"

"Hello." Julie's blood ran cold. With a nervous laugh, she turned in her seat to find the object of her rant standing behind her. Trying to flatten her hair, she smiled awkwardly, her stomach in knots. "Hi, Scooter."

Scooter eyed Connie, who was watching them intensely, warily before he turned back to Julie, "I just wanted to say congratulations. I heard about you and Conway, that's great."

_Strike one_, Connie thought. Julie looked as pale as a ghost as she nodded, "Thanks, Scooter."

"Yeah, so. Uh," Scooter looked around in the hall before he turned back to Julie, "Now that Charlie's with you, do you think Linda Chavez would go out with me?"

Julie's mouth dropped.

_Strike two_, Connie winced.

"I, uh," Julie stammered, at lost for words. "I think so?"

"Great," Scooter beamed at her. "You're a great pal, Gaffney. See you, Moreau."

_Strike three, he's out. _Connie desperately wished she had left the minute Scooter had arrived, as Julie looked as if she was about to throw up. As soon as the Varsity goalie had left, Julie turned to Connie with a look of disbelief.

And then she screamed.

Guy Germaine decided to skip breakfast and left as quickly as he'd come.

* * *

_This is all your fault!_

Charlie blinked at the message scribbled neatly on the tiny piece of paper. He looked at Adam who jabbed a thumb in Julie's direction, telling him the note came from her. Charlie rolled his eyes before he wrote his reply.

**what did i do now?**

Adam looked annoyed, but handed the note to Julie, who sat a desk away from him. A minute later, a tap on his shoulder told him Julie had another note. He passed it onto Charlie without bothering to read it this time, luckily.

_Scooter asked me whether it was alright to ask out Linda._

Charlie's eyes widened as he read it, before he hurriedly wrote back. Adam held out his hand as soon as he was done.

**linda? my linda?  
**  
Julie wondered why Charlie was so thick-headed sometimes.

_Yes, your Linda! We should just quit. You were right, he doesn't like me._

Adam's left eye twitched as he passed on the note again. Charlie pretended not to notice.

**but why linda? he's never expressed a liking to her. something's up, jules!  
**_Yes, your lack of capitalization, that's what's up._**  
Funny. Look, I don't think we should end this just yet. Let's wait and see, ok?  
**_I guess. You're enjoying this way too much, Conway._

Charlie laughed as he read that.** You wish**, he wrote, but when he turned to Adam, the boy shook his head.

"Give it to her yourself!" Banks told him, irritated.

"Do you have something you want to share with the class, Mr. Banks?" their teacher asked, lowering her glasses to stare at said boy.

"No, ma'am," Adam looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else. As soon as their teacher turned back to the blackboard, he turned to Charlie and shot him a murderous look.

Charlie quickly crumpled up the note.

* * *

"I have an idea," Charlie began as soon as they walked out of class. Julie motioned at him to continue, but before they could, they were interrupted.

"Conway," Portman called out. Charlie waited until he and Fulton caught up with them.

"Varsity challenged us to a rematch," Fulton started, as both Bash Brothers turned to their captain. "We wanted to say yes, but it's your call."

Charlie thought for a minute. When he turned back to Fulton, he noticed his entire team was waiting for the decision. Averman gave him the thumbs up as Kenny nodded to say he was up for it. Everyone seemed positive, ready to go up against the team they'd beat last year with confidence. Only Adam, Julie and Guy looked hesitant.

"I think we should wait," Guy said, telling Charlie he had his doubts.

Adam nodded, "We've only had one practice, Charlie. And we haven't played with the entire team since last summer."

They had a point. The Ducks had been separated in the summer. Charlie finally looked at Julie, who folded her arms. "I agree with Adam," she told him. "But it's your decision."

Charlie knew they were right, but his gut told him to do it. He trusted his team; he had faith in their abilities. His mind was made up, and so he turned back to the Bash Brothers. "We'll do it," he told them. "Ask Riley when and where, we'll be there."

Portman grinned and slapped a high five with his fellow Basher. As the Ducks separated to go to their next class, Guy, Julie and Adam exchanged glances. It wasn't as if they didn't believe in their team and captain, but they also knew they weren't ready yet. Varsity was called Varsity for a reason; they were good, damn good. With a final shrug to say they couldn't do anything about it, Guy followed his girlfriend. Adam smiled at Julie encouragingly before he, too, went to class.

Julie put a hand on her forehead as she sighed.

_Great_, she thought. _Another problem to deal with._


End file.
